Day To Day #1: Status Update
Sunday, October 2nd 2016
Today, on September 25th, 2016, I’m writing at a hard, metal table with a warm cup of Keefe coffee, in Douglas County Corrections. I haven’t yet shared my thoughts in this format, so I wanted to give my audience a status update. I’m going to call this series Day to Day, and will share my day to day experiences in a diary format. Expressing my raw emotions and thoughts, filter free. If you’re not already aware, I’m being held in my local county jail, until my case is resolved.
Anyway, I’m currently less than 2 months away from sentencing on November 14th, in U.S. District Court. I have been feeling a lot of anxiety lately, even though I signed a binding plea agreement for 11 years, 6 months, which means I’ll receive just that, no more, no less. I don’t have racing thoughts per se, but I have trouble sleeping and can feel a tremendous weight over my shoulders. Anyone can see the stress in my eyes. It doesn’t help either, that my housing unit is next door to the unit for inmates in Administrative Custody. Short for AC, this is where they house the criminally insane.
From my cell, I’ll hear them kicking on cell doors, and screaming in the vents throughout the night, making it hard to sleep. At times, I feel like I’m in the Loony Bin. Regardless, my overall mindset has been positive. I have been on a steady workout plan for the past 10 months, and have seen tremendous progress thus far. I was arrested at 140 lb, and as of yesterday, I now weigh 188 lb, with little body fat. Friends and family have been gracious enough to send me stacks of books, so I spend the majority of my time reading and writing. Most recently, I read the book, The Obstacle Is The Way by Ryan Holiday, which introduced me to the concept of stoicism. Becoming a stoic has revolutionized my life, for no matter what happens, I can’t lose.
Since my arrest, I am proud of the progress I’ve made emotionally, intellectually, physically, and spiritually. Most importantly, I’ve improved relations with my family. With that said, I wanted to shoutout everyone in my family, for their love and support, especially their help with creating this website. Nonetheless, I’m looking forward to having this chapter of my life behind me. I’ve been in county jail for a year, and everything about this facility is torturous. If you read the piece I wrote entitled, ” Jail Is Oh So Peculiar,” you can get a taste of the emotions this place evokes. Given this is a temporary facility, I have literally seen everyone come and go.
In fact, just the other day one of my close friends walked into my housing unit. I was mad, sad, confused and happy all at the same time. This friend was going to all my court dates, and I called him frequently. It was upsetting to see him in jail, yet it felt good to be around someone I know and trust. It might be 8 years before I see him again, so it’s cool to chill once more. Lately, I’ve been reminded of the value of friendship through the loss of 2 close friends this year. Therefore, I’ve been trying to reach out to as many people as possible. On another note, please be on the lookout for a new post about my previous cellie (slang for roommate) entitled “Everyone Despises The Leech,” which is coming soon!
In this piece, I discuss a personality type that I describe as The Leech or Psychic Vampire. Everyone knows a person that screams negativity, and writing the piece relieved some of the tension between the Leech and I. Now, every month or so, I plan on posting a Day to Day Article, to keep everyone up to date with my current imprisonment. If you enjoy the content I post, please share some of the articles from this site, and follow me on social media. Hopefully the next Day To Day will be written in a better facility. All in all, let me leave you with the latin phrase, Veni Vidi Vici, meaning I came, I saw, I conquered.